


Good Morning To You, Too!

by Moophinz_isnt_here



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comedy, I wrote this mostly for myself, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 16:43:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20604005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moophinz_isnt_here/pseuds/Moophinz_isnt_here
Summary: France made an offer to pay for their hotel room and expenses there. He didn’t make a free offer to be used by two inconsiderate jerks! But, they’ll be paying him back in their own unique way...





	Good Morning To You, Too!

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t posted anything new in a while, and I’ve been doing so poorly this year that it’s killed a lot of my focus for creating. So here I am trying to swing back with a crack fic.

“Okay, okay!” France shouted as he swung open the door to America’s room, no doubt annoying other guests in the hotel. “I said I’d offer to pay your expenses! That doesn’t mean you get to take advantage of my kindness! I saw the bill— Hold on.”

His anger and annoyance at something he should’ve seen coming collapsed upon noticing a second human-shaped figure under the covers. America’s head and shoulders were sticking out from under the blanket, but there wasn’t a single clue as to who the second person was. Did the young nation invite someone into his room to help him push up the bill as they gorged themselves on room service and all the pay-per-view streaming they could get their hands on? There were costs listed for alcohol, and America himself wasn’t much of a drinker. But  _ England _ was… There’s no way.

The two of them had technically separate rooms, but they also just as technically shared one big suite with a door connecting and separating them. France quickly walked towards it, kicking empty bottles and packaging out of the way. Opening that door and taking a short trip around the room revealed it to be empty. So, was America’s sleeping partner truly the little English gremlin? It was true that he personally picked out the suite in hopes that it would lead to  _ something _ , but France couldn’t even begin to believe that something truly happened from his plan at all.

Only one way to find it. France reentered America’s section with boldness in his stride and a sly smile, gently pulling the covers back to unveil a messy head of blond hair. He struggled to keep his celebratory noises under control.

“ _ Oh, my _ .” France observed England whose head was practically nestled in America’s bare pecs thanks to his wide open shirt. “You two had quite the night to say the least, yes? Are you comfortable, roast beef?”

France covered his mouth as he chuckled at his own teasing and the pure greatness of the sight laid out before him. Something so extraordinary deserved to be highlighted and sealed away like a precious treasure. Hell! A video would be even better. As he pulled out his phone, he never once considered he was taking anything too far. After all, he’d been waiting on them to make some kind of progress for years, and dammit he was going to enjoy this as much as he pleased!

“Here we see the beings known as the USA and UK acting as the true lovebirds that they really are deep down.” France narrated while stepping back to take in the full picture of England sleeping on top of America. He tripped over something and spun around to see a pair of wrinkled pants on the floor that were certainly England’s. His eyes widened, and he turned the camera on that little detail. “Have you two been up to more than I’ve assumed thus far? The city of love has gotten to you of all people!”

It was all good fun to see them in such a state, but seeing them awake after realizing what they’d done— whatever it was— would be even better. With his mind made up easily, France moved back to the bed and unapologetically ripped the blanket off to discover an even more scandalous sight for sore eyes. Both nations were only in their haphazardly worn button down shirts and their personal choices in underwear. He gasped so hard he almost choked.

“WAKE UP YOU NAUGHTY LITTLE ANIMALS!”

America shot up first, forcing England to raise up as well, but he still had his arms wrapped around the other. England did like to sleep with a teddy bear.

“BRUH!” America shouted back in a sleep heavy voice. “What the hell is your problem?!”

“Well,” France looked at England’s position of having his legs around America’s thigh and hiding his face like he was still asleep, “I think you have bigger problems. One of those are with me.” 

America remained silent as if he was still registering the situation around him. Then, his eyes narrowed at the phone. “Are you recording us…?”

Maybe this could count as petty revenge and potential blackmail material. “Shouldn’t you be dealing with your clingy boyfriend?”

“What the fuck—“

“I’m nawt ‘is boyfend.” England mumbled like he was talking in his sleep.

“England!” America pulled away. “Get off me!”

The scrawny speck of a country moved back, examined them both, and tore his arms away. For a split second, France swore he took a chance to let his hands brush against America’s abs. “I knew I was sleeping uncomfortably on something last night! It was you! Where are your pants?!”

France continued recording the fireworks show.

“I sleep in my underwear sometimes! It’s totally normal!”

England got in America’s face to further yell at him. “It’s not normal when you’re in a bed with someone else!”

“You took your pants off last night, but suddenly it’s a crime when I do it?! It was hot in here, too, man!” America defended himself by jabbing a finger in England’s chest.

France thought the room felt pretty damn cold.

“I—“ England abruptly stopped himself and looked surprised by something. “U-uh… what is— what is  _ that _ ?”

A few seconds of silence passed while France could see the gears turning in their heads. These two were the biggest train wreck he’d ever seen in centuries.

“Wha—“ America’s mouth formed an O before he nudged England off him completely and pulled the blanket back up to cover his bottom half. “That’s normal, too! And just like that, you’re also guilty!”

England had positioned himself, almost crouched over like he had something to hide. “If it’s so normal then why are you making a big deal out that? Is it a crime when  _ I  _ experience it just like you  _ clearly _ do?!”

France knew England was only being so brash because of the alcohol from last night, and his piss poor morning attitude after a necessary wake up call. It was as if they had completely forgotten he existed…

America roughly pulled a pillow off the bed and blocked his groin with the fluffy object. “I’m going to the bathroom! You better go to yours!”

“I wasn’t gonna follow you in there, ya’ know!” England shouted at him as America slammed the bathroom door shut. A noise complaint was definitely coming.

“Aww,” France zoomed in on England’s face, “that was quite rude of you both.”

“What the fuck are you prattling on about?”

“You guys don’t have the decency to verbally tell each other good morning with your mouths even though your lower halves have taken care of that physically?”

England tossed pillow after pillow at France who only laughed and ran out of the room. 


End file.
